What is Love?
What is love? These three words may move you to begin humming to the tune of Haddaway’s song of the same name. “Don’t hurt me, no more…”
In an age of mass media, widespread telecommunication, and rapid transportation and distribution, it can be very easy for every one of us to become overwhelmed by the incessant flow of the latest trends, whatever they may be, as much as we may deny it. Not only does this distract us away from the more meaningful conversations and relationships we should have, it makes us more callous towards and unaware of the most powerful and uplifting principle that truly makes the world go round--what is love.
Valentine’s Day is a beautiful day celebrating and commemorating love eternal between two individuals intertwined at that instance and over time. Yet it is has come to stoke the excesses of consumerism and guarantee that love is viewed as nominal and flimsy, capable of being bought and thrown away as quickly as that. It has also accentuated the singularity of couples, divorcing love from groups (mainly families) and others (neighbors, classmates, colleagues, and the unknown passerby).
The human conception of love originates from time immemorial. It is often connected to sentiments and actions such as empathy, compassion, and forgiveness. Since ancient times, it has been associated with sexual intimacy and desire.
But what truly is love?
Does it find its source in culture? Has it been evolving throughout history? Does it transcend geographical boundaries and racial stigmas? Is it based on practicality, infatuation, impulsiveness, playfulness, maturity, faithfulness, egalitarianism, and/or jealousy?
The conceptualization of love is indeed manufactured by culture. It has evolved throughout history, coming to transcend geographical boundaries and racial stigmas, among other factors. It has been and still is viewed in combination with the above adjectives.
Love has been the subject of many discussions, debates, remonstrances, and jubilations. It has been stripped, embroidered, embellished, and beaten. Many people do not seem to know what it is, the high divorce rates of certain periods throughout history (the past few decades included) and current political intrigue (populism versus liberalism) declaring loud and clear. Of course, we are “skilled” at pointing at the demonstrative love of others, though often we are confusing love with loveliness and a romanticized ideal of love. We are less so able when it comes to finding and cultivating true love in ourselves and towards those who are close to us.
What we must realize is that true, pure love is universal, pushing a large majority of conceptualizations aside. Love is the foundation of the world. It has been registered as such or nearly as such by all major religions. (The use of religion in this context denotes the claim that beliefs in the supernatural were formed in the times of the earliest humans; thereby, love is a pillar of reality that has been twisted for good or bad since then by various peoples.)
As much as it would be interesting to explore the differences between religions in emphases, ommittances, and misconstructions concerning love, it is noteworthy that love is self-sacrificing, compassionate, and patient in many of them.
I believe that the greatest and most encompassing definition of love is as follows: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8, Bible). This passage and/or chapter has been read at many weddings and funerals, such as by the former Prime Minister at Princess Diana’s funeral.
“Don’t hurt me, no more…”
If we truly understood what love has been and is, we would not accept the depraved and imperfect nature of humanity as we find it to be as many of us have the habit of doing daily. We would not nonchalantly allow our pride and selfishness to continue unabated, both within ourselves and in others. We would not solely opine without carrying out what we collectively intuit to be the best way of life nor with the intention of initiating, facilitating, and/or being heard in an argument, launching ad hominems and leaving the imbroglio disgusted about our own selves and/or with another person.
Love has the power to transform the world into as close the place that each and every one of us yearns for. Love can take us much further than we as a society are at at this moment and will be in the future; however, by itself, it too will leave the planet short of what it could be because love is a word--albeit a strong word--in a sentence that gives true meaning.
On this Valentine’s Day, let us pause to reflect on our love lives. Are we loving not only to those we like, but to those we are not attracted to and to those who actually hate us? How can we grow in our love?--for we can always grow in it.
Love is an action.
And so I encourage you to compliment someone today, make amends with an enemy, surprise a family member or friend with a phone call...there are so many things to do!
One step at a time, our love can blossom into the sort that shakes our world.